I’m on the Road to Nowhere

This isn’t just an appreciation of a great song…

Do you say any of these to yourself…?

‘I will be happy when…’
‘I will be happy if…’
‘I would feel happy if I just got…’

The next part of the sentence is up to you to fill in.

What did you get?

‘…when I get that promotion’
‘…when I finish working on this project’
‘…when I am retired’
‘…when I’m a senior manager’
‘…if I was just not as busy’
‘…if my colleagues were nicer’
‘…if I had more money’
‘…if I had another manager’
‘…if I was given more responsibility’
‘…if I was working in another team’

Or something along these lines?

Does that sound familiar?

Maybe you go one step further and you say, “I’ll be OK if….” (one of these things comes true). That sort of implies that you aren’t already OK.

Unfortunately, happiness doesn’t quite work like that.

You see, if your happiness depends on something that has to happen in the future, and is something that is outside of yourself, you are subconsciously telling yourself that you cannot be happy in the present moment. You are making your mental state contingent on things that are external; things over which you have no direct control. That’s dangerous.
Don’t aim at happiness as a destination. You won’t arrive there. And don’t chose something that isn’t inside you already as your vehicle. It simply won’t take you there.
Happiness and satisfaction in life are byproducts of living with meaning and purpose and enjoying things for what they are and to do this you need to look inwardly – to the way you think, the beliefs you hold and the stories you tell yourself: stories about you!

Your thoughts about any situation you find yourself in, frame your entire perception of it. Everything that exists for you is in some sense subjective. All the data that comes into your brain is distorted by your own personal filters in some way. Minute by minute, day by day and year by year, you contruct your own reality.

Isn’t that a liberating thought? Doesn’t that grant you endless possibilities?

So, instead of moaning about all the work you will have to do before completing a difficult task, think about all the positive things you have already done to master this challenge…

..how much you have learned as a result, the new skills that you have acquired, the team members that you have inspired, and all the great bonds you have formed with your colleagues…

You have the right to congratulate yourself on how far you have come, and appreciate all your achievements…there is nothing arrogant or conceited about positive personal regard.

This stuff isn’t new. It’s the core of many philosophies, dating back thousands of years. If you want to be happy, then you have to make up your mind to be so. Self-acceptance isn’t apathy: you can and still should have goals and ambitions. But endless self-criticism and never feeling quite good enough is a surefire route to underachievement, sadness and even depression.

You can’t escape yourself. Wherever you go, there you are!


And this is the key to great achievements – another amazing paradox of life…
…being happy with yourself now is a prerequisite to moving forward, hitting your goals
and having fun along the way.
…so stop waiting for future happiness when it can be yours NOW, THIS MINUTE.

‘Destination Happiness’ does not exist! It’s a nasty con.

Chris Welford & Jackie Sykes

P.S. and if you want help enjoying the journey and being happy with yourself now… book one of our Sixth Sense bite-sized workshops or get some personal coaching. Meet yourself along the way … you will like who you meet.



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